Without order nothing can exist without chaos nothing can evolve

Its always just as I'm turning over in my sleep can i feel my stomach burning away. I flip from side to side, envious of the way your able to sleep so soundly, and I just stare at the wall, at you, and at my closed eye lids, with no relief of this uncomfortable state. Then the worries set in, first money, then my parents, then money again, then you, then mental issues, then health issues, then life issues, and then it all blurs into a mess of anxiety. Which recently I've come to recognize as the one and only Guilt. I dont really know what for, but it always lingers. I often feel bad for those around me, feeling the repercussions of my repressed anger. always comes out at the worse time. I can even feel the annoyance I cause and I can see how much I'm changing into something I dont want to believe is me. But what can I do? burden and guilt keeps these sleepy eyes open.

• 19:34 @lyssasmommy, im not either but i do love the escape hybrid! #
• 20:34 Watching the big bang theory. Yayyy! #
• 20:47 The csi trilogy starts tonight! #
• 22:05 Shit! ida moved fast, shes just a couple hours away from shore #
• 22:09 @lyssasmommy nope! I bet it is! Your so close! Shes going toward florida after she hits the shore. #
• 22:16 @lyssasmommy =/ the miss/bama line? I didn't know you lived that close to it! #
• 22:21 @lyssasmommy wow. Hopefully it doesn't get too bad, she isn't that big, being a ts not hurricane #
• 22:25 @lyssasmommy it actually saved us.. Haha #
• 22:44 Holy shit! I knew a geometry question. And i pretty much failed it in hs #

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• 17:41 @lyssasmommy i'm watching that too! I so agree. #
• 17:44 @lyssasmmmy i've been watching it since 2. Omg some of the people there are dumbasses! #

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• 13:04 Why can't i ever recover or have help? I never get any alone time, i always feel like crap. #
• 22:31 Omg.. A 7 year old thats 254lbs. A 14 year old thats 550. Wtf? These parents are sad #

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• 06:27 Lortab works wonders.. Gah hurt so bad a few hours ago =[ #
• 16:51 @nicolah isn't it!? My base is on high security now because of it. #
• 17:07 @nicolah yea, we're pretty close to it. I think we're one of the closes bases =/ #

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Oh yeah, I just had a major breakthrough. I figured out why my love life is completely nonexistent and why my standards are impossibly high.

It's directly related to my movie obsession. I have a tendency to fall in love with movie characters. Movie characters rarely have any serious flaws that can't be corrected during a two hour peek into their lives. Movie characters are not real people, real people have flaws.

I doubt I'll ever meet anyone as perfect for me as Rob Gordon in High Fidelity, whose only flaw is an obsessive personality. He takes books, movies, television and music way too seriously. That's a flaw I can accept because I can relate.

In High Fidelity, Rob went out with Marie De Salle, played by Lisa Bonet. And about the date, he said "What really matters is what you like, not what you are like... Books, records, films - these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the fuckin' truth, and by this measure I was having one of the best dates of my life."

And all I can say is "true dat"


Okay, so now I've had my major breakthrough, I've discovered the root of the problem. So now that I have gained this great new information, what am I supposed to do with it? Lower my standards? Or should I continue to hold out for my male Marie De Salle?

I'm really terrible at decisions. Maybe I could just put it to a vote?







Anyway, in related news...

( This Is Why I Love Nick Hornby )

• 09:52 I feel worse today =[ #
• 10:22 @lyssasmommy what year is your car? And what make & model? #
• 10:24 @lyssasmommy its power window right? #
• 10:27 @lyssasmommy the window regulator could have broke too. Power windows suck. #
• 10:29 @lyssasmommy mines a 98, i think its dying. It rolls up and down so slow comapred to the versa =[ #

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Alrighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht!!
I got a job!
And a temporary petition job. I get $1 per signature, not too bad!
It is another canvassing job. I know them to be easy to land, for me at least, so I found a few, applied, and now I sit pretty. Well, nearly pretty. Rent still hasn't been paid this month.
But! I will pay. Oh, yes, I will pay.
I wish I could get a sweet gig like working at the library. Oh man. I'd be a natural.
Too bad you need to go to school for that. Hell no. I don't want to work in a library my whole life. But I'd be better at it than most people who do work here, despite the fact that they went to school.
In other news. I miss David. Not in that heart wrenching make that makes it impossible to live out the day foe the pain. No. It is very dull. Its just uinfortunate that we 2 couldn't possibly sort through whatever issues. I really felt like we would have been good together. But you can't change what you have and you're not supposed to want more than what they can offer.
But I did. I was discontent. I cried and was a lot more miserable 2 months ago than I am now. Now I just cry because of physical pains.
Alas, I miss him. I wish he felt SOMEthing for me. Then at least we could be friends. But I fear there is not a trace of significant emotion in his soul for me.
And... I miss Beau. Not exactly the same way. I never wanted to be with Beau forever. He's too much of a dominant male head case. He almost touched me right, but too much violence.
I need somebody who has the passion but isn't fucking pyscho.
It seems that all the boys tyhat are attracted to me are shy boys who could deal with never saying anything to me. Never! What I need is a boy who takes chances but who isn't paving a way for disaster. I don't need a torrid love affair. I don't need somebody crazy calling me all the time. I don't need somebody who knows they want to get married and have kids. I want somebody who is passionate about life, the pursual of life and has the ability to feel splendid emotion. Somebody who NEEDS to kiss me. Somebody who NEEDS to feel my insides. Somebody who thinks I'm top notch and I happen to feel the same way.
I'm just tired of these fucking shy boys who never make me feel special because they're too afraid of using words.
I like those charming guys.
"Did you know that you're beautiful. BTW, whats your name?"
CRAP! I know it's cheesey. I know. But I want it. I want to be told I'm beautiful. And sexy. And charming and funny and intelligent. I want to be called weird. I want to be pushed against a wall to a point where its forceful but not painful. If your hands are around my wrists and you're "holding" me down, I want to be able to get up if I want to. Its not real. Its just rough.
I want to kiss somebody who knows how to kiss. No empty boast, no boast at all!
Just lips and tongue and that fantastic sensation in the head/throat and stomach when a kiss is perfect, or good. Great, at least. This is the way I like it.
This is the way I like it.
Oh, oh, this. is the way. I. like. it.

Man, tangent.
I'm still dating the boy from my last place of employment, Houise of Blues. His name is Abram. He;s really sweet, really cool, I love hanging out with him. But I dread, fucking dread, when he kisses me. Its not smooth. Its too stressed. Like he must strick out my tongue before it makes any movement. And its a turn off. I like kissing way too much. And the seat of my pants are nearly exhausted by this tease. Oh, I mean, I've slept with him. That's fine. But the kissing is what satisfies me. I've broken up with great guys and come up with excuses but I can tell youi why right now. Unsatisfactory kisser. Yup. Thats the only reason. Tell me that's terrible when I LOVE to kiss. When it fills me with feelings that aren't provided otherwheres. No. Not. any other place. That kissing. That smooth flowing motion. Blah.
I'll never be satisfied.

Hello world.

How are you? :)

After a terrible mishap, I have lost my first phone. Along w/ it, all the phone numbers stored in it. However, I did have insurance on it, so I will be receiving my new phone sometime soon.

If I had your phone number, or you wish to give me your phone number, please do so! Private message me, IM, e-mail, text (Along w/ your name, so I know who you are. Since my phone isn't on, I'll get texts once my phone is activated) me your numbers again.

Thanks! =D

TORONTO EDITION!




"Angels, I'd like to know, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" -Homeless, ginger-bearded, toothless man while half-riding/half-dancing his shopping cart down the street.


Me-"Is this porn?!"
Katelyn-"What?!"
Christine-"No."
Katelyn (disappointed)-"Oh."


"Spare some change? Spare some change? I wanna get high! I would not lie!" -Beggar in the subway station


"I'm gonna get in a fight tonight. I'm too happy not to." -Katelyn


"Wear some colors, Canada!!!" -Katelyn


"One T is awesome!" -Christine


Katelyn-"The people in front of us kept sittin' down, I wanted to kick them in the head."
Christine-"I DID!!"


Katelyn-"Do either of you guys have anything with a dragon on it I can look at?"
Christine-"I have a dragon in my soul. You can look at that."


"You should make an underpants hammock!"


"Let's play nightcrawlers!" -Christine


"Has anyone ever tattooed someone else's face on their face?" -Katelyn


"It's not all about elevators!!!" -Drunk lady at the bar


"Since when are you the giggle nazi?!" -Christine

"In the Hot Diggity Dog section, you can get the Swanky Franky." -Katelyn


"Hey cuties!" -Man wearing a wife beater tucked into mom jeans, dancing to his Walkman with a lot of hip action.

"If I bust out my gay skills, you might think I'm for real gay." -Cory

"Ladies and gentleman, I give you the center of the earth.
Max was right!
He was right!
MAX WAS RIGHT!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
-Brendan Fraiser at the end of Journey to the Center of the earth

"Midgets are built like lesbians." -Katelyn

"Ew!! I made myself watch until they kissed!" -Katelyn talking about an ugly couple on a bench

Born to raise hell

"I don't want to keep going through there cos their fighting and shit and I think she's sitting on the sweater I wanna wear." -Katelyn

Me-"I bet their afraid to fire her. I think she's unstable."
Katelyn-"I bet that floor's unstable!"

"Don't you just feel like you're in an angel outfit?!" -Katelyn

"Next week, we'll watch Schindler's List and The Water Horse." -Christine

Katelyn-"Is that blood?"
Me-"It looks like it."
Katelyn-"It looks exactly like it."
Me-"Why is it in the kitchen?"
Katelyn-"I dunno."
Both of us continued to prepare breakfast, ignoring it.

"Hug my neck, hug my neck!!"

"It would take fo'teen of you to handle me!"

I honestly have no idea why I'm updating right now. I'm tired and hungry...which probably means that I should go to bed soon so I don't starve myself while looking at food blogs. XD I took my second Genetics test today and came out of it feeling better than I did the first time. Let's hope I did well? Registration is this week for me--although if I didn't have all transcript problems I would have registered last week. So I need to call to fix that soon since I paid $10 to order that. :/ Also can't register right away because being the stupid kid that I am, I waited until 2 weeks before registration starts to set up an appointment with my advisor. Need to fill out a worksheet and figure out what I want to take. Right now, I can only think of 2 classes. And with the way registration goes...I'd better have a lot of back up classes on hand.

Last week was a pretty good week in terms of being productive...at least until the weekend came. I didn't study Genetics until the weekend...but still. I went to Med Term on Weds and Fri which was pretty awesome. It's been a long time since I've been happy about going to class. Thursday, I didn't really get to help out with my dorm's Halloween carnival except for the clean up. Kids stopped coming in...so they ended it early, which made me sad. Halls were all awesome this year! Our wing was pretty awesome too--very creative, and a lot more better than the results of last year (which weren't bad by any means, all things considered). Ah--I should post pictures. dlfajf--that would take me ages to load though. But anyway, all of the halls were decorated--which was cool. Later that night, I dragged my roommate with me to go take pictures...except her camera died halfway. So sad. Friday, I did go help out with the elementary school Fall Festival. It was alright. I did facepainting (worse painter there, by the way orz) in the coold air of the night. Saturday, I watched Friday the 13th...which is a classic, but I thought it was really cheesy. There were only a couple of notable scenes at the end...by not by much. I'm sure at one point in time it was meant to be scary, but I definitely wasn't scared. Kinda disappointing. Oh, well.

Aaand daylight savings was this weekend! Woohoo, one more hour of sleep! \o/ Also, my mom is currently flying over to China and I won't hear from her until sometime before Thanksgiving. I'm thinking of going home this weekend, since I don't have anything major again until the 19th. Except I went home twice in October, so I don't know...maybe? I still have Thanksgiving and then Winter Break. Wow, I can't believe that the semester is passing by so quickly. It's crazy.

I have other things that I kinda want to blabber about at the moment, but I should probably sleep...so, yeah. I might post pictures of what we got of the halls tomorrow. Not sure yet. I actually have a backlog of photos I've wanted to post on here. Who knows...maybe I'll do a photodump. But uh...registration comes first, of course. It's like war! And warriors need their sleep. Haha, I'm so lame. orz Right, sleep.

Maybe I should update more often.

I'm pretty, yes, I know. I've heard that since I was 14 (and still had short hair, imagine that). I've been called pretty a multitude of times w/in the past year or so. However, while those words inflates the ego, I am deflated by the fact that I'm seen only as being pretty. I have a mind under this shell of beauty, I have plenty to say (given that it's something I can relate to. No more Dn'D or Magic cards, I never liked it, never interested me) and I can speak it quite well. It seems that no one really has much of an interest in what I have an interest/knowledge in. Come on, for example, I really can't be the only sports fan w/in my group of friends! Granted, I don't really say much to start the conversations, I should work on that, but I can talk. Oh, what cruel fate has bestowed me w/ such utter beauty on the outside, but such mediocrity of mental and inner beauty!

Alas, I am rambling on about things that shouldn't really bother me that much. I have plenty of time to work on showing off my mentality once my beauty fades. =P

Evil Dead the Musical was amazing. Still got my blood-stained Splatterzone shirt. =D

The guy playing Ash was brilliant.

someone needs to explain to me how... a rehearsed skit with no flaws loses? ... i just dont get it

http://www.prguitarman.com/index.php?id=262
http://twitter.com/PRguitarman/status/5360796043

I'm actually not very satisfied with how this comic, which I've been trying to portray into comic form for TWO YEARS, turned out. There is just so much more to the story, but explaining it all would make this like a five million panel strip. I failed to point out that I got bitched out by the manager the next day. He said there are "Judgement calls to be made", although he specifically told me if I gave out any toilet paper I'd be fired. Then there's the part where my fellow staff members trapped me in the front desk office. Hard to explain that part.

.

http://www.prguitarman.com/index.php?id=261

Received some generous gratuity from a friend to make a comic, and this is the erotic end-result. Based off a true story.